Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
