you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
