i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize