My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
