If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
