I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize