like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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