i just google imaged poop.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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