she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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