omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize