he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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