when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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