You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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