I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
