in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
