She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
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I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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