Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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