i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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