The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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