I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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