So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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