woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
