you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
