so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
