Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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