Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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