I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
