How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
