Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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