OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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