singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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