i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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