I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
