just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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