On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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