How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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