Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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