Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
