Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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