okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
