accomplished twins. life is a go
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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