let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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