Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
