I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
should my penis look like a turkey
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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