So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got inside last night via doggy door
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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