You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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