dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
