Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
