he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
