Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
