I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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