whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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