lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize