when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
