haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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