dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
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yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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