dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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