Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize