I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
