i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
