She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
