I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
